So I took a trip to Amsterdam and I thought it would be nice to talk about:
27th April 2026
So, it's been a bit I suppose. I've had this site for what like five years now, but I guess I rarely tend to update it at all. There's hardly anything in my life really worth writing about, and I guess more importantly, there's hardly much motivation for me to really make stuff. Recently though, that all changed. Though of course I've been on holiday in the past two years since I last posted anything, a lot of it was just chilling without much of the same sense of adventure as the kind of stuff I talked about in that Vacationing Double/Triple feature post. This time was a bit different, as for the first time ever, in my twenty-four years of living on this planet, I've finally left the country and went on my own holiday without being wrangled by family or school. It was also a lot more unique and enriching than just chilling at the typical holiday spot in Spain that I've been visiting for much of my life.

So with all this filler at the start, I might as well get to the point. I had a pretty dull year last year (part of the reason why I didn't really have much worth posting on my blog). Sure, there were a couple nice accomplishments, like making that 2 hour-long iceberg video and actually talking to a woman (online at least), but much of my time was taken up by doing a bunch of full-time work, whilst anxieties in my personal life hung over my head for the rest of the time. Therefore, when New Year's Eve came around, I felt incredibly depressed, thinking another year went down the drain with not much to show for it (or at least not as much as I would like). I felt like I really needed to do something, so my Mum reckoned that since I talk a lot about wanting to travel, what's stopping me for actually doing it? So, a couple weeks later, I decided to finally cross off a holiday destination on my personal bucket list: The Netherlands, home to windmills, tulips, human-centred Urbanism and Drunk-English. It was a place that really stood out within Western Europe and the world, and a combination of Street View and Wikipedia browsing, with the occasional viewing of Ongezellig, made it feel like just the right place to check out for myself someday. Thankfully now that "someday" has finally come to pass, and I couldn't be more thankful. It was daunting at first, booking everything in and then being hundreds of miles away from anyone I knew, but now that I made it through without dying, I feel I might as well share that story with whoever ends up reading this. So, with all that said, let's bring this tale over to the start of the main event: Day 0!

Day 0 (The Grace Period):

While the tourism stuff hadn't quite begun just yet, that didn't mean there wasn't anything worth talking about on this day. The day itself started out pretty early, in order to leave plenty of time for the trip (y'know how customs can be sometimes), so I made a few quick checks for my case and my bag and went on my way around ten-to-8 in the morning. I must admit I was feeling a bit uneasy around this time, considering this whole solo trip thing is pretty unfamiliar territory as I mentioned above, and the thought popped up in my mind thinking that I might as well head back if I wasn't up for it. But in the end, the first train into London pulled up to the station and it was all a go from that point on. The trip around St. Pancras station once I got to the place wasn't really as tough as I expected. I'd been on the Eurostar once before when I was 8 years-old, but the process didn't seem that much more difficult now that I was the one hauling the luggage. I had plenty of time left over, so I grabbed some coffee at the place outside. It turned out that this place offered an option for a "CBD infusion" in your latte, but apparently that was probably something you'd have to check over with your doctor before trying, and since I'm already medicated, and apparently even hair-loss tablets can potentially induce suicidal thoughts, it was probably best to leave it out for now. That's partly why, spoiler warning, I never end up doing any weed out in the one part of Europe where it's (sort-of) allowed. That and the fact I don't have anyone to look out for me in case anything bad happens, plus I don't want to awaken any latent case of schizophrenia that I might not be aware of. Plus some other assorted excuses I haven't listed out.

Anyway, though there was a bit of a delay for the train itself, the whole rest of the journey went smoothly. There was a little bit of security but a lot less limits on what you could carry on board, and there was obviously a far better view outside the window compared to your average flight, so what you lose in speedy-ness, you still gain through the overall quality of the experience. I was planning on re-watching Studio Massa's more recent Dutch History Iceberg (which, if you can manage the language barrier and the quick pace, is a really good crash course in Dutch history), though the quality of the train's wi-fi was a bit spotty on account of using the local mobile network, so instead I spent most of my time just looking out of the window and checking out the changing views of France, then Belgium and finally The Netherlands. Once I finally crossed the border into The Netherlands though, and I caught my first glimpse of a windmill in the flesh, that was when things were really starting to get real, and I spent the last segment of the journey looking around the surroundings of Amsterdam's outer suburbs with this dumb little smile on my face the whole time. The way out of Centraal station was also a very quick walk around. It honestly felt much more easy to adapt to the environment once I got off that train, compared to arriving by aircraft. I suppose not being subjected to the massive changes in air pressure made the whole thing just feel more like I was taking on a trip to the next town over rather than a completely different country.

So, once I walked out into the main forecourt area to catch a tram to my hotel, that's promptly when it suddenly started to rain. It wasn't that bad at first, just a manageable drizzle, so I figured I might as well challenge myself to try and use the tram without checking on Google Maps for help, just how the pioneers did it! I ended up going on the route nearest to the Rijksmuseum, as I knew my hotel was nearby there, but the tram was incredibly packed all the way there, especially for someone with a suitcase to look after, so after a bit of waiting to spot some familiar territory, I thought it would just work to get off the tram and try and follow the local landmarks up to the hotel. It was whilst I was walking through Vondelpark though, that the rain upgraded from drizzling down, to pissing down and finally gushing down; not even the emergency poncho was enough to make much of the trip bearable, so I hopped beneath an underpass at the earliest possible opportunity, in the hopes of the whole thing blowing over as soon as it started. It didn't really show many signs of getting better after a few minutes, but fortunately, after giving in and checking Google Maps, I noticed my hotel was only a few minutes away from where I was standing, so I bum-rushed over to the hotel, grabbed my key and I was finally at my sanctuary for the rest of the trip. It would also be the last time I ended up using that poncho, as it never rained whilst I was there again; even that torrential downpour cleared up by the time I was getting ready to get a quick meal. I got myself all dressed to head down to... well, I wasn't quite sure yet, but I'd find something pretty soon, and just as I was finishing off, I quickly realised that I overlooked something on my trip down: I forgot to pack a belt.

Yeah, it wasn't the end of the world, but man it would be a real pain in the arse to get anywhere if my jeans were too loose for any wild movements, so I quickly looked up the location of the nearest TK-Maxx for something cheap and cheerful, noticed it would still be open for another hour, and rushed down there in time before having to survive the night without any extra support. Thankfully, after rushing down to the shop and sifting through a bunch of options that were either too expensive or too tacky, I finally came across something that was simple and fit well with the rest of the outfit, and thus, with about half an hour left before closing, my mission was complete. To celebrate, I felt I was well overdue that evening meal, and since it was safe and familiar (and also because I heard the menu items sound funny in Dutch), I just settled for a Big Tasty from a nearby McDonald's. It of course wasn't that big (and not quite as tasty) as the one I'm familiar with, probably on account of it being a full-time menu item over there, but it did hit the spot after a long day of faffing about. I tried again to make my way back to the hotel without consulting Google Maps at any point, since the weather was more on my side this time around, and much of the journey back proved to be rather quiet. I later figured that might have been because I ended up going well off course, but thanks to following a couple of tram lines, I was able to get back to the room and also get my steps in for the day. But I wasn't gonna be slowing down from here, as tomorrow morning I had to get ready for my first shot at cycling on the streets of Amsterdam.

Day 1 (Cycle Tour and Koninklijk Palace):

Today was another pretty early start, but by getting up at 7am, expecting the bike tour at 9am and only being a 10-minute tram ride from the starting point of the tour, I figured I had a bit of time to get dressed and adjust myself after getting up (i.e. Watch a bunch of YouTube videos). By the time I had finished biding my time, it had already gotten up to 8am, so I figured I might as well get a move on. Problem was today was a Sunday, and I wasn't too familiar with the swanky cafes that would've been open at this time. There was a familiar chain opposite my hotel, though after I just nonchalantly walk in, they said they wouldn't be open for another 10 minutes, at half-8. Nevertheless, I waited around for a bit, as I was sure I could expect a coffee/sandwich combo in a fairly quick amount of time. The tram was close to the cafe and had a stop not too far from the tour place, so I was able to hop on that without any problems, but I did end up cutting it close before the 9am deadline... is what I would be saying if there actually was a 9am deadline. Turns out, through some kind of time-zone chicanery, I was actually an hour early; the bike shop that was doing the tour wasn't even supposed to be open for another 30 minutes, so I just took the extra hour to wander around and explore the narrow streets of the city centre, happening upon my first ever weed shop, as well as Coffeeshop 420, a place I specifically remember seeing in a documentary I watched in secondary school (because we saw that one time, "Mr. Nice" used to be a teasing nickname I had at that school for a bit).

Once it came time to actually go on the trip, it ended up going by pretty fast. Much of it involved cycling from one location to another, and then stopping for about five or ten minutes for a bit of background info and a moment for some pictures (we of course weren't allowed to take pictures while biking). There were a few interesting bits of trivia I gained during the ride, like how much of Amsterdam's oldest houses were built atop a swamp using wooden poles for support, giving some of them a fairly slanted look, and how the individual houses have hooks at the top of them to lug large items to the higher floors (some of which are still used to haul furniture), but the tour felt more like a summary of what you could see in the city. Still, that was partly why I went on it, as I still wasn't too sure on where to go afterwards. After this point though, I figured the next stop would be the Royal Palace in the centre of the city, though since I had some time to kill after the trip, I decided to go on another stroll through the half of the city the tour didn't visit; the one with the Red Light District. I saw a couple of workers there, some of which didn't look too happy to be there, but I kept my wits about me and eventually happened upon a comic shop, filled with mostly English-language stuff and only very few Dutch comics tucked away in some box on a lower shelf. They even had a few full-sized editions of Weekly Shonen Jump in another part of the shop, but since I can't read Japanese, let alone speak it, I figured I might as well leave it for someone who would get more out of it.

One coffee and stroopwaffel break later, I was finally back at the palace for a quick tour. One thing that immediately sticks out when you visit the place is that, despite being a prestigious royal palace, it doesn't have any guards or fences separating it from the rest of the lowly peons. Turns out that's because the place used to be a City Hall, running much of the region's public services, such as the bankruptcy court Rembrandt went to after blowing all his fortune on a bunch of pricy conversation-starters. It wouldn't be until Napoleon's brother came in and declared himself King before he went 'This looks nice. I'll probably stick a bed here'. This ended up giving the place a much more connected feel with the rest of the community, compared to your average royal fortification, and today especially felt that way, as just immediately outside the palace, there was a huge display presenting the impact of the conflict in Palestine in a simple but impactful way. There would of course be two or three people with an Israeli flag and some generic slogans on the other side at some point, but thankfully things never got very heated. The Falun Gong also showed up next door, probably because they heard another protest was on that day.

Anyway, the palace itself was a quick but excellent display of art and local history, including a couple of massive 17th Century-era world maps in the centre, several sculptures of Roman deities and a poignant display at the old forecourt, based around the themes of justice and repentance, in an area where the death sentence would usually be read out. With all these incredible details, I ended up taking about 100 pictures of the various details of the palace, both because of what the place offered, and also as a bit of an architectural study. As I mentioned in those pics surrounding that Adventure Time-themed fanfiction I came up with ages ago, Amsterdam was one of my primary inspirations for the Fire Kingdom's appearance, so the palace could work as a decent source of inspiration if it ever does become a fan comic. But I wasn't going to dwell too much on doing stuff for now, because right after the tour I had to catch a tram. Not just any tram; this was one of the special heritage trams the network ran on weekends. The one I caught was around during the 60s, and it had all these cool little advertisements and information boards from the era. There was a bit of a "tour" thing going on, though much of that was in Dutch and generally covering much of the places I visited on my bike ride, but that stuff didn't really matter because just being on this piece of history made me feel like a big kid for a little while! I even managed to chat a bit with the locals whilst I was there.

After a jam-packed day, with another one expected tomorrow, I figured I'd go for something more nearby, but also something that felt properly Dutch. And like how the Brits go for an Indian, I figured now would be a good time to go for an Indonesian. I ended up picking a place nearby, named "Toko Bersama", that had a 4.9 score and about 10,000 ratings on Google Maps, so I was expecting something pretty upmarket when I got there, though it turned out to be a bit more fast and casual than expected. They even re-heated the ingredients in microwaves, which I'm not really sure is very "authentic", but the food itself was pretty damn good once I got to it. Can't remember the exact contents of the meal, but for someone less cultured like myself, I suppose you could describe it as having a similar texture to Chinese food with a bit more spice to it (a manageable amount though; nothing too wild). To wind down for the night, I trekked the streets in search of a corner shop or supermarket for some sachets of decaf coffee to calm the senses. I would quickly come to learn though that decaf is surprisingly hard to come by in The Netherlands, especially if you're not looking for massive jars of the stuff. The hotel I was at had these little kettles that came as part of the room, and even a little machine in the lobby, but there was only the regular kind available, which obviously was off-limits during the times when I would actually use it. Alas, I could never find what I was looking for, and instead decided to settle for a hot chocolate at a nearby Spar, enough to chill myself out for the evening and to prepare for a second full day of adventuring, this time going much further afield.

Day 2 (Rotterdam, Delft, The Hague, Oh My!):

7am start. No screwing around this time. I had all the details for the trip sent over to me, so all I had to do was get my arse in gear, get my stuff together and run over to Centraal station in time for the coach pickup at 8:30. I just about managed to get down to the station, got a (lukewarm) ham and cheese panini and French vanilla latte (much better!), before my tour guide gave me the news over the phone that we were about to head out for the trip. Fortunately, I was done with the sandwich and could just chill with the coffee for the rest of the initial ride; an hour and 20-minute drive down to Rotterdam. The "coach" turned out to be much smaller than I expected, being a decent-sized passenger van instead, and there were only a couple of other groups with me on the journey. Apparently though, this didn't make owning the thing any less difficult for the guide, as when he gave out a few factoids about driving in The Netherlands, he mentions that unlike in Britain, where road tax is generally around £200 every year (if you've got a mid-sized car), his van's larger capacity meant in this country, he was getting charged around 200 Euros per month to drive it. Therefore, most people just have bikes for each member of their family, or just go for small "quadracycle" vehicles, which are like small cars that can also use bike lanes. Many of the current ones are electric, but there's still a few petrol-powered ones knocking around that sound like they're running on moped or lawnmower engines. At least those guys have the infrastructure for other options over there, plus it meant the roads, even during this time in the morning, were mostly empty, so it was smooth-sailing towards the first stop, with plenty of views of the so-called "Green Heart", belonging to the lucrative Dutch farming industry.

Once we finally made it to Rotterdam, it quickly struck that this place was a lot different to Amsterdam, and by "different" I mean more modern. Amsterdam is arguably the cultural and historic core of Dutch society, but much of what used to be Rotterdam was decimated by the Nazis during the war, so much so that it caused them to capitulate and fall to occupation almost immediately, and remain that way for the duration of the conflict. There were a few leftovers here and there, such as this neighbourhood on the other side of the Nieuwe Maas river, and a street that just so happened to contain some German offices at the time, but much of the rest of the area felt a bit like Coventry in the UK; a demonstration of late-20th Century urban planning in all of its bland blockish-ness. There were of course a few notable exceptions to this, including a few spins on the mainstream style, most famously demonstrated by the "Cube House", featuring a mind-bending use of shape and geometry to give off this space-age atmosphere. The place even had its own museum to explain how the hell you can live in a place where every window is at a 45-degree angle. The rest of the people I was on tour with though weren't really too interested in checking that out, since we've still got a whole load of other stops to get through. We didn't really spend much more time out in Rotterdam after that; we were just given a half-hour to get some food and explore this shopping centre: Markthal, which presents this massive incredible display of art underneath a bazaar of international tastes from a bunch of local businesses, though the toilets, which had these forest murals, played calming music and told you to drink water, might have been a bit much when all I wanted was to take a shit.

From this point on, we would be heading north to arguably the highlight of the trip: The Royal Delft ceramics museum and the local town square. Now, you probably wouldn't think of me as the kind of guy who would hyperfixate on pottery, but the lengths the museum went to illustrate the work that went into their craft, including a brief walk through the main factory floor, I could only be impressed by how much skill went into making these old blue and white sculptures, many of which tell the tales of days gone by in the Dutch canon. Not too surprising, since those guys are the official potters of the Dutch Royal Family (hence the name). One thing I especially took an interest in though, was seeing the large number of "auteurs" working at the Royal Delft, with their own unique styles and themes. The artist who especially piqued my interests was the Indonesian-native "Ryol", whose work, compared to the stuffy poshness associated with much of the rest of the company's library, offered a friendly and pop-art feel to their styling, more akin to someone like say, Takashi Murakami, than your average oldie-worldie nobelman's collection of especially Dutch historical pieces (which were really just meant to mimic Chinese porcelain but that's neither here nor there).

We then got on another short trip to the town centre itself for some lunch; a very classic Dutch town if I've ever seen one. Humble terraced housing all uniformly laid out, the old canal surrounding the traditional placement of the walls like a moat, and of course the vast town square not too different from the days of Stille Willem. By far the most interesting part of the area was the 'New Church', distinguished from the 'Old Church' by being only 600 years old, compared to the other church's 750. This new one also had a tower that wasn't leaning and was much taller, making it a perfect spot to go up and take some incredible pictures of the surrounding area (so long as you paid a fee). The trip up was a real pain though, going up around 500 steps to make it to the peak, all while trying to traverse this tiny staircase that could barely allow for one person to go up, let alone for someone in the opposite direction to come down. But, once you've navigated all that and defeated the intrusive thoughts to throw your phone off the side of the narrow platform, seeing all of The Netherlands from the sky like this was, for me at least, the highlight of this day trip. All the people going about their daily lives, the various layers of history exhibited by the surrounding architecture, the whole thing was super breathtaking. Still, I couldn't stay up for long, as we still had one more big stop on our trip.

The Hague is an interesting spot. Whilst Amsterdam itself is the "capital" of The Netherlands, it's not the centre of government; not even the King lives there, save for one week out the year. All those parts of how the country works are all in The Hague. It's basically like having a British company, but it's registered in the Cayman Islands to take advantage of the tax breaks. The city is also quite interesting for appearing to be a mix of classic and modern planning and architecture, like if Delft and Rotterdam were spliced together. This time, apparently my country was to blame for that large section of post-war buildings. Turns out that during the occupation, the RAF were given coordinates towards Nazi strongholds in the city, though they unfortunately turned out to be off by a couple of miles. It does give the city a unique cosmopolitan style to it though, so... swings and roundabouts, I guess. It felt a bit more like we rushed through this part by comparison, as one of the main areas, the Parliament building, was off-limits as it was being refurbished and expanded, plus the art museum next to it, featuring The Girl with the Pearl Earring, charged 20 Euros, just to see that specific painting, so we spent much of the time in the centre just going up the viewing platform next door to the Parliament, and don't get me wrong, the surrounding area was lovely, but I guess it was a bit more limited compared to the tower of the New Church. We did take a brief last stop to the Peace Palace though, home to the International Courts of Justice, with a whole bunch of art pieces calling for world peace surrounding it, including one that had its heart in the right place, but looked a bit unfortunate if you've been online as long as I have.

And with that, we took the van back (I managed to sit in the front this time!). The trip was a fairly smooth journey going the way we came, besides maybe a bit of mild rush hour congestion here and there. I managed to take a couple snaps of the tulip fields, and also did a bit of talking with the guide to pass the time. I decided to take an alternative route through the Metro back to my hotel this time, dodging the armada of bicycles surrounding Centraal station to make my way back. Tried to go through a couple of supermarkets and corner shops for some decaf coffee, but save for this pouch of substitute decaf (I dunno, in case you're morally opposed to the slaughter of coffee beans?), there wasn't really much that I was looking for. The rest of the night was pretty chill after that. Knowing I didn't have to get up super-early for a pre-booked thing meant I could just wander around for the evening and go wherever the wind took me, which I guess after going on a massive journey meant some place safe and familiar: A pizza restaurant, or I guess an Italian restaurant to be precise, named "Piazzetta Romana", a cosy little place with plenty of Italian charms and the feel of a family business. They even had their pet cat prancing around the restaurant! The food itself was really good; I personally chose a spicy pepperoni pizza, even if I couldn't taste the "spice", and after that I figured I might as well indulge myself a bit more by getting one of those Fusion ice creams from the Burger King next door. Turns out it's written in European (not just British) law that every second Burger King has to have a broken ice cream machine, so I spent the next half-hour walking down the streets of Amsterdam, following the tram line to the other one I knew in the centre of town. Thankfully on the way there, I also happened to discover "Super Night" mode on my phone, so a lot of the night pictures look much nicer from here on out. Eventually, I was finally reunited with my Fusion feast and spent a little while strolling through the Red Light District in its natural setting, surrounded by debauchery whilst I looked like that dog with the propeller hat and the lollipop by comparison. Thought of taking a quick stop to the souvenir shops to do something a bit more constructive not long after, but after noticing they were all shut for the night, I took that as my cue to take the tram back and get ready for a chill last full day in the city.

Day 3 (Resistance Museum, Rijksmuseum and Bike Expedition):

Turns out things were gonna be a bit less chill than I expected, but I didn't quite know that just yet. So, once I got up around 8, I figured I'd probably head someplace in-land for a quick breakfast before getting my bike. I was thinking Starbucks, 'cause that was a fairly familiar chain with a few toasties to decide on, but once I got to the centre of town, not too far from the bike rental place I was aiming for, it turned out it had just closed for renovations for like a week, on the previous day, so obviously I had to wander around finding some other local spot for something substantial. Soon after though, I did manage to spot a place that had this croissant and coffee deal, but I guess I must have over-estimated what exactly would be sandwiched in the croissant (I thought it would be like ham and cheese or something; turns out they only had ones with nothing in them). So to fill myself up with the carbs needed for the day, I decided to go for two croissants with my coffee, which was about as messy as you would expect. Nevertheless, I was properly filled up, and ready to go out and cycle like a true Dutch person.

I was initially aiming for the same rental company that I did the bike tour with on the first day, but they were pretty booked up with tours once I got there. Fortunately, there just so happened to be another bike rental place across the street with more spaces available, though this place ended up having rather limited features on the bike, having only one gear instead of three (so best be avoiding hills), no front basket or even a complimentary helmet, and to make matters worse, the rental place closed at 6pm rather than 7pm (heh) at the other shop. But much of that didn't really matter at the end of the day, since I finally had a quick and free mode of transport to get from place to place. Once I got going, it felt pretty clear to me that cycling in Amsterdam felt a lot like driving in a big city, having to navigate through busy cycle-ways and avoiding pedestrians everywhere. Honestly, throughout my stay here, I felt safer around cars than I did around bikes, since there obviously weren't any speed limits for bicycles, they're much tougher to spot, and they hardly stop for anyone. No wonder the driving's so smooth in The Netherlands; these guys they take out all their power-tripping on the bikes!

Anyway, the trip to the first stop wouldn't be too tough, only being stopped by waiting behind a canal drawbridge for a bit, but I suppose that's when it started to dawn on me that I might be a bit tight for time. Nevertheless, I soon arrived at the first of two museums: The Resistance Museum (or the "Versetsmuseum" to be precise). Initially, I was planning on doing the typical tourist-y thing of visiting the Anne Frank House, but I wasn't aware that, since basically every other tourist here had the same idea as me, it would be a real pain to get a ticket there, with many going out and being sold out six weeks in advance, and this was something I only noticed about a week before leaving. So I thought I could try and explore the experiences of the Nazi occupation through a different establishment, in this case navigating the experiences of those taking the fight directly to them in The Netherlands. The museum covered a wide range of topics revolving around the occupation experience, including how at first, discounting the carpet-bombing of Rotterdam, life under occupation wasn't too bad, since the Germans felt the Dutch had a shared history with them and also needed their support in taking France. Things would ultimately fall apart once the occupiers started deporting the nation's Jews en-masse, resulting in strike action and things descending into tyranny.

The Jewish population of The Netherlands was ultimately decimated in the war, but thousands did all they could to ensure their safety, as well as the safety of others, creating fake ID's and helping many hundreds flee to the UK, joining their Queen in the process. There was even some talk of the contributions made by the small population of Indonesians and Surinamese people in the country, as well as discussions of the experiences many Indonesians faced under Japanese occupation at the same time.This all ended, after mass killings and widespread famine, with the triumphant day of liberation, and an invitation by the museum to add in your own little message for peace. Most people discussed the big topics of the day (Palestine, Trump... mainly those two), reflecting on the subjects they had just learned and wishing for history to not repeat itself. I decided to add in a little message of my own, bringing up my personal hopes for the future and generally covering all the bases. I had initially hoped to get high one night and come up with this big manifesto to use for a general strike or something, but weed scared me, so this was probably an OK plan B.

I was only expecting an hour-long break in there, giving enough time to get to the rest of my stops, but the place was so chocked full of stuff that I ended up staying there for two. The experience was nice, but I was now worried about being behind schedule, so I rushed over to my next stop, the big one: The Rijksmuseum, hoping to spend maybe another two hours in there. This place was, in the simplest of terms, an art museum, but it used this art to effectively tell the tale of Dutch history from around the turn of the 11th Century, with the widespread creation of Christian art and wooden sculptures for the Church. This then evolved towards developing new sculpting techniques and creating more realistic paintings with contemporary subject matter in the Renaissance, and ultimately arriving at abstract and modern design characterised by De Stijl in the 20th Century (I wouldn't have time for that last one though). Each of the items had their own qualities in terms of both skill and historical value, and some ended up looking so realistic that they were practically indistinguishable from photographs. There were of course several highlights, particularly surrounding the work of Rembrandt, with his most iconic work, "The Nightwatch", currently being restored within the museum itself. There was also household furniture with several ornate flourishes, coins from the many eras of the nation and several scale models of the country's various chapters at home and abroad, all housed within an architecturally incredible venue that served as the perfect home for the country's historic canon.

And that's when I came across something (or more accurately, someone) I wasn't quite expecting coming up. There was this really cute woman walking around the museum on her own, slightly taller than me (maybe a bit older too), wearing these really bright clothes and engaging in some rather quirky activities, admiring this bust of a satyr and using the flash on her phone to take pictures of its chest. Flash photography wasn't allowed in the museum, so she must've been really dedicated to getting those pictures. She went off on her own way for a while, but once I headed back down after two and a half hours of exploring (just two hours at that place wasn't enough to do justice), I came across her again. She appeared to have gotten out of the cloakroom to collect her things, as I saw her with her full outfit: bright pink t-shirt, blue jeans (if I remember correctly), a cat-ear hairband and this massive BMO backpack!! Gaahhh!!! She was so fuckin' quirky that I thought I was gonna die!! But my bitch ass was too socially retarded to ask for her name or her number! I was too busy doubting myself before she walked out of the main entrance!! You thought this was gonna be just a little blog post where I talk about a holiday I went on? Wrong! This is also a personal appeal! If you're a Dutch person who somehow came across this post and you know a woman who owns that kind of outfit and seems like the kind of person to visit art museums to take pictures of the monster men's nipples, then drop a rq to my Discord account @billthebaker and point me in the right direction, 'cause I think I'm in love!

Anyway, let's get back on topic. So now I'm a bit behind on the whole cycling thing, and I've only got a little under two and a half hours left before the rental place closes for the day, which might sound like a lot, but since I tend to meander around on my journeys and Google Maps heavily over-estimates how fast I can go at cycling, it probably wouldn't be enough time to go out cycling to the places I had on my sight-seeing checklist. But I figured I still had enough time to go for a bit of exploring, so I'd just venture where the wind took me for a bit. Now initially, cycling around Amsterdam might not have been as smooth as you would expect, based on how people online talk about Dutch cycling culture. This was mainly because of all the traffic, but also because a lot of the roads denoted as cycle ways felt a bit rough, being made of brick rather than just tarmac, plus there was a lot of starting and stopping with the frequent traffic lights. But once you head south enough, into the post-war suburbs that were built with dedicated cycling infrastructure, like Amsterdam-Zuid and Amstelveen, the ride was incredibly smooth from there on out. I soon went on a bit of a detour through a narrow cycle path, next to one of the canals, and before long I was already in the countryside, surrounded by several wetlands and getting close to a couple of windmills. As I took in the richness of the pollen and felt the light of the sun coming down on me, all with the city so close in view and so yet so faint in noise, I felt so at peace. This moment, cycling next to the Amstel through the country, just a stone's throw away from town, this moment was probably the very best part of my trip. If you're coming down with some real bad stress in your life, then I could honestly recommend just taking a flight to The Netherlands and spending a bit of time cycling.

Amidst all this, that stress I was feeling earlier started to melt away, especially since I figured that, since I hired the bike for 24 hours, I could just take it to the hotel and bring it back the next morning. Even then, I wasn't really too far from the bike hire place anyway, so I could just stroll back now and feel fine. But then a thought crossed my mind: It was only about 4:45, and I couldn't quite hit up everywhere, but there might be enough time to visit one particular location: Bijlmermeer, a place I would generally refer to as "Dutch Thamesmead", being created as this unique residential experiment by the state housing department in the 60s, using massive hexagonal towerblocks. However, it was ultimately criticised and reformed as it felt too impersonal and served as a breeding ground for criminal activity. I decided to check Google Maps to see what kind of ETA I would get if I took another detour over to there and then dropped the bike off. It was giving me about 50 minutes, so even if I was a bit off, it still would have been enough time to head over there, take a couple pictures and rush back before it closed, which would also give me a bit more time to explore the next morning. So I set off in another direction, passing by the Johan Cruijff Arena once I got back to the urban areas, cycling through these huge towering offices and then residential buildings, a sprawling urban park dedicated to Nelson Mandela, and even a few humble little streets of terraced houses, before finally arriving back at my main destination.

The place itself was actually really nice. Sure, there were maybe a few signs of disrepair, a bit of moss in the streetlights here, a couple cracks in the pavement there, and I guess maybe the place got a little gentrified in the past few decades, but once I got my bearings, I thought to myself "You call this a ghetto?". There were tons of well-used facilities for both the kids and adults there, people were just about finishing off with a local market just outside the estate and there was tons of green space and even a couple rivers passing through the area. It could just be that I showed up on a late-afternoon on one of the nicest days weather-wise in weeks, but I never really felt un-safe when I was around there, or really much of anywhere during my trip. The only lock I had for my bike was a clamp that stopped someone from riding it themselves, but even after leaving it at the Rijksmuseum for a couple of hours, it was still there without any problems, when I feel if I did the same thing here, someone would just pick it up, load it into their car and drive away. But now then, I had my fun and it was time to head back. I checked the time: 5:20, and the ETA for the trip back, only 37 minutes, and so with that, knowing I was gonna make it, I zipped down the cycle paths, following the elevated metro-lines and eventually the River Amstel, back to the centre of town, as my mind was blasting the song "It Only Takes a Minute" by Take That in my head, keeping me all hyped up to finish the journey in time. I peddled as quickly as a single-geared bicycle could take me, zooming past other bikers in my way, and just about having the right idea of where I was going before I finally arrived back in familiar territory, noticing one of the landmarks not too far from the Rijksmuseum and passing through Rembrandtplein and ultimately arriving back at the rental shop with just three minutes to spare before closing. The guy running the shop probably wasn't too happy to have me show up just before he was about to leave, but he said I could just leave the bike outside and him and his mate will sort things out.

I felt victorious, elated, but also drained of energy. I needed a quick pick-me-up after subsisting on just two croissants and a hot dog from the Rijksmuseum, ultimately happening upon those huge cooked stroopwaffels with chocolate sauce and Smarties (plus some water because holy shit I was thirsty). I ate this sugary health hazard on the tram back to my hotel and chilled there for a bit before heading out for something a bit more substantial: A wok meal from a nearby restaurant named "Take A Wok". Though it wasn't quite as bustling as the Indonesian place, I didn't need atmosphere to have such a well-cooked meal, savouring all the different ingredients and later heading downtown to check for some souvenirs for the family. Eventually, after getting most of my ideas in order, I thought that since this was my last night, I might as well go on another trip around, both around the town and eventually beyond it, using the Metro to check out the suburbs. It might've not been the smartest move, since that crime stuff was probably gonna happen now if ever, but I thought I'd just stay around the station (thereby not technically paying for a multi-zone journey as well). Though I was met with what looked like a bad omen when I entered Centraal station (seeing a few mates shoot up some heroin), I just kept to myself, kept my foreign mouth shut and observed around the empty stations. Though the place I ended up at probably wasn't as residential as I had hoped, taking a bit of time out to see how the rest of the city looked as most of them slept, felt like a nice final experience to wrap up the trip, so I took the train back, left the system through a nearby station and caught a tram that went all the way back to my hotel.

Day 4 (The Farewell Tour):

So, here we are. The last day of the trip. I had already packed up my case and was ready to head home, but I still had about six hours before the train left later today. Plus, I was too puffed out to do souvenir shopping yesterday so with a clearer head, I figured I might as well pop down to the centre of town and do it now. The hotel I was staying at had this little room where I could leave my stuff, so I stuck it all in, got this pan-au-chocolat and a latte from another swanky cafe nearby and went down to traverse the shops for some cute knick-knacks. I ended up getting a couple of little statues and a tin of stroopwaffels from this one place for an absolute steal; each of them cost less than 10 Euros each. They were also selling tulip bulbs there for about 8 Euros, which also seemed like a nice choice since I didn't really see many tulips in the wild whilst I was out, but I figured I'd probably bought enough and didn't want to go overkill with the gifts. I ended up spending more money on these T-shirts for me and my brothers, though I figured each of them seemed like all right choices for the lot of us. Plus, I felt like I needed a few quirkier shirts for myself, instead of acting invisible to the outside world.

I had a bit more time left over, so I wandered around and arrived at this massive bookshop near the town centre, and then went back to that comic book store from Day 1, in case I found something that might be nice (couldn't really decide on anything in the end, probably because I already had a bunch of stuff to go through at home first). Eventually, just before returning to the hotel to grab my things, I took a trip to the Hard Rock Cafe, the world's favourite tourist trap, as a familiar last meal for my time out. The food was just as good as I expected, the location was pretty nice, and the service came much quicker than it probably would have if I came with the rest of the family. A little part of me wanted to visit the Rijksmuseum nearby one more time, just to see if Satyr Girl would be there again, but alas, she was nowhere to be seen. I saw this phone booth from the 80s in one of the courtyards though. Don't think I ever saw another one anywhere on the trip, so that's cool I guess. I got back, grabbed my things and was ready to go, now much more familiar with the trams than I was when I came down, so I knew where to keep my massive bag and case while not feeling too uncomfortable. Even managed to sit down for much of the trip's duration, a nice note to end on before arriving at the station.

I thought I'd get a quick snack to hold me over before getting home, and since there was a Dunkin' Donuts just outside the UK terminal, I grabbed a latte and one of those fancy KitKat-filled donuts, but wasn't quite expecting to suddenly be met with airport security just as I entered the terminal, having to juggle all my bags, my jacket and my snacks to get through everything in a not so inconvenient manner. Thankfully things levelled out after a while, and I didn't slow things down too much, so from there I decided to chill out, eat my now X-ray-diated donut, drink my super-late latte and head on to the train, and with the exception of forgetting my water bottle at my seat, the whole ride back was perfectly smooth all the way back to St. Pancras, for a time having two seats all to myself (until we got to Brussels, unfortunately). And so, with my mind absolutely buzzing with all the travelling I did these past few days, I felt a bit inspired to do a little doodle on the way back home, of Miffy, a Dutch cultural icon, wearing an orange shirt and smoking a joint.

 

Part of why I made this pic was to show off that The Netherlands was very much a place of contrasts: A place known for its progressive values but also heavily celebrative of its historic legacy. A place with laissez-faire attitudes to living but also heavy social responsibility through the welfare state and heavy tax burdens. It ended up being a lovely, inviting and beautiful place, that was probably number-one on the list of countries I could run off and start a new life in, but I also started having second thoughts during the trip to The Hague, when my tour guide told me the government was planning on essentially taxing imaginary money. But as a place to visit for a long weekend, I can't say that there was ever a really negative experience that wasn't brought about by my own miscalculations. I absolutely loved my time here, being able to explore what the world had to offer, all without being tethered to those around me, freely traversing the many facets of the city and the country and living to tell the tale. This was a massive new experience for me and it certainly won't be the last time I'll be going on a journey like this. My family are planning on going over to Greece later this year, to return to where my parents met 35 years ago, and after that, I'm planning on going off for about a year to travel around the place and work on some pet projects, and I'm already saving up to get it all done, firstly planning a two-week trip around Scandinavia (maybe to subconsciously look for other foreign countries to live in for a bit). And from then on, we'll see. The sky's the limit, and I can't wait to reach out and touch it!

(The main reason I drew that picture though was 'cause I thought it was funny. I know, I'm really mature.)

(Oh, and Happy Koningsdag everyone!)